Witney Carson’s olfactory glands just could’t take it anymore, so she was finally compelled to impose a $100 penalty every time her Dancing With the Stars partner (and Denver Broncos star) Von Miller passes gas.
To Miller’s credit, audio during his live performances have thus far failed to pick up any offensive reverberations from his nether regions, which is more than Mike Ditka can say.
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Turns out that Miller is no newbie to excessively polluting the air with his poots. Last year, the Broncos linebacker cut the cheese so frequently during team meetings that the mile-high franchise implemented a punitive gas tax.
''I keep trying to tell them it's not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in. Nobody in the world does that. I just do it more than the average person.''
In his defense, the Super Bowl MVP has argued that the health benefits of letting farts fly trump any social norms or financial considerations.
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